Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Life lessons at In-N-Out

I am a fiend for the In-N-Out Burger here in Pasadena. Particularly after a long day and a hard workout, nothing sounds quite as good as a double-double with grilled onions and a chocolate-strawberry milkshake. I am definitely one of the regulars.

Tonight, however, I encountered a new situation. As I pulled into the drive-in area I saw that one of the drive-in lanes was empty, while the other had three cars in it. My first thought was "great, a clear lane; this will be the shortest wait I've ever had for a burger here." Then the social animal in me spoke up: "hold on, though: there's got to be a reason that everyone is in the right lane. The left lane must be closed or some of these people would be in it." I had never seen this lane closed, and there were no indicators anywhere that this was the first time. Furthermore, a perfectly reasonable alternative explanation for the situation existed--namely that the cars in the left lane had just made it through a little quicker than the cars in the right, and I just happened to drive up at an opportune time. With about 3 seconds to make my decision, however, none of this came to mind and I defaulted to the herd mentality. About 5 seconds later a woman drove up behind me, got in the left lane, and ordered her meal.

I stewed over this as I sat in my car, childishly resenting that lady for being more sensible than me. It wasn't the wait that bothered me, but the realization of how easy it had been for me to follow a completely mindless decision making process. I like to think of myself as an apart from the crowd kind of guy, but here I was confronting powerful evidence to the contrary. And it wasn't just the weight of what I perceived as the group wisdom that introduced the seed of doubt. It was also an irrational fear of failure and embarrassment--"what if I take the left lane and it is actually closed?!"

Whether it's holding your own in a discussion dominated by group-think, adhering to your moral values in an environment that undermines them, or making tough judgement calls as a leader that run contrary to the prevailing wisdom, the ability to make a cool-headed assessment of the situation and act according to what you know/believe is an essential life tool. This example may seem trivial, but the same principle applies in situations where the stakes are higher than how long I have to wait for my burger.

The cure to a herd mindset? Self-reflection, brutal honesty about one's intentions and motivations, and the willingness to try despite the possibility of failure. Cultivate these virtues, and a substantially more independent mindset will follow.

2 comments:

Mark Polhamus said...

Herd mentality is common to all, the easy "everyone does it" path of least resistance; an honest assessment of it and choosing to act differently takes strength and courage. To be willing to incur the likely disdain and rejection of the "crowd" to stay true to what you believe is hard. Good on you.

Anonymous said...

Kitty Genovese, and the bystander effect comes to mind after reading this post. Just in terms of how when we are the presence of others, we tend to simply follow, and not choose to go against the grain...but, not in terms of the emergency or danger factor, like in the Kitty Genovese case.