Normally these posts are several weeks apart, so if you're just checking out the blog for the first time in a while you should also take a look at the one below.
We had our first boat race today! As mentioned below, I got put in the "stroke" position, which sets the pace for the entire crew. I'd never done this before today, so I was a little nervous at the outset. Fortunately the stakes were low--today was just a practice run before the Christ Church Regatta next weekend.
The guys on my team are quite a group of characters. Some combination of me being American, one of two graduate students on the squad, and relatively athletic has led them to select me as their de facto squad captain. Today they wouldn't get in the boat until I gave them a motivational speech ("you know, the kind of speech that coaches give their team at half time in American sports films!"). So I naturally I ripped-off Braveheart: "And tonight, lying in your beds reflecting on this day, how much would you give for one chance, just once chance, to return to these icy waters and pour your heart and soul into each stroke, should you now shrink from this challenge?!" They're good guys :)
After a rousing cheer of "1, 2, 3, MB/Worcester" (it kind of came out as a garbled shout), we got into our boat and took off for the starting line. A couple minutes later we drifted in the water, counting the final seconds till starting. No gun went off and the format was time trial, so I won't dramatize the start, but overall I think we did great job. After a couple rough strokes I settled into a rythm, and we powered down 1.2 kilometers of the Isis river to the finish line. "You stroked us to victory, Aaron!" Perhaps, but the stroke is only as good the crew.
I haven't settled into a sport since high school, and next quarter I'll probably give lightweight boxing a try, but today was a great reminder of the joys of comraderie, teamwork, and competition. What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
the wheels keep on spinning
Today I received a package in the mail from Rhodes House reminding me to hurry up and apply for my second masters degree if I want to stay on next year. It is truly incredible how time passes: just a couple weeks away from finishing my first term at Oxford and I'm already scrambling to sort out a second course of study. I have no idea what I'll study. Management science? Anthropology? History? Do I really feel like taking the GRE, buffing up my CV, and tailoring my writing samples in the next two weeks? Yeah, maybe history would be a good choice....
I've spent a couple minutes staring blankly at the computer monitor trying to figure out what to say. It's difficult because on the one hand I feel like there is so much going on that to even try and describe things here would be futile. On the other hand the student life feels very much the same as it always has.
The nagging question of purpose keeps coming up. I have friends who are publishing lecture series for UNESCO, co-authoring briefings for the national security council, running development NGOs, and working to push legislation through congress that would create a national public service academy. The pressure to do something grand, or at least to appear that way, is great. Yet when you dedicate yourself to one cause you by default exclude yourself from others. There are plenty of things I could take up, yet I still haven't found that core passion that I can grab a hold of as a springboard into action. So I keep broadening my base academically, building relationships, traveling widely, and questioning constantly. I spend quite a few days in a state somewhere between being restlessness and distraction, enjoying myself as I bounce from rowing, to the gym, to classes, to conferences, to fellowship, and to the pub, but wondering if this flurry of activity isn't just forestalling the identification that going to help me put this whole deal into context.
I'm excited for Rwanda. This winter I will spend the majority of my time an hour or so outside of Kigali volunteering with an organization called Umuryango, which means "family" in Kinyarwanda. Umuryango reaches out to orphaned street boys through coursework, job training, and spiritual counseling. I'll be teaching english, guitar, hanging out with the boys, and helping to build a basketball court. Though I'm not tired of Oxford by any means, I miss travel--the freedom of the open road in an unexplored country, the sense of separation from all the distractions you left behind that comes when walking alone through new places, and the daily joy of discovery. This past summer was the first time since the end of my freshman year of college that I haven't crammed a pack full of anti-malarial tablets, some clothes, a water filter, U.S. consular information, a few other things, and headed south. I'm under no illusion that the people I'm going to work for need guys like me around for three-week stints of volunteerism: my goal is simply to learn about Rwanda from the Rwandans, and if possible to reciprocate their enormous generosity in hosting me by making myself as useful as possible.
So there's an update. Rowing is also going well--since my last post I've been bumped up to a better boat, and will likely be rowing stroke, the first position, in the Christ Church Regatta next weekend. Though I'm still debating whether or not I'll continue with this sport, I love the training, team camraderie, and early Thursday mornings on the Issis. In statistics I alternate between feeling triumphant and completely hosed, but lately it's been more of the latter. The good news is this puts in the same position as the majority of my peers! I'll be writing up my first assessed practical this weekend, so prayers that that goes smoothly would always be appreciated.
And as always, updates from abroad make my day. I'd love to hear how you're doing.
God bless,
Aaron
I've spent a couple minutes staring blankly at the computer monitor trying to figure out what to say. It's difficult because on the one hand I feel like there is so much going on that to even try and describe things here would be futile. On the other hand the student life feels very much the same as it always has.
The nagging question of purpose keeps coming up. I have friends who are publishing lecture series for UNESCO, co-authoring briefings for the national security council, running development NGOs, and working to push legislation through congress that would create a national public service academy. The pressure to do something grand, or at least to appear that way, is great. Yet when you dedicate yourself to one cause you by default exclude yourself from others. There are plenty of things I could take up, yet I still haven't found that core passion that I can grab a hold of as a springboard into action. So I keep broadening my base academically, building relationships, traveling widely, and questioning constantly. I spend quite a few days in a state somewhere between being restlessness and distraction, enjoying myself as I bounce from rowing, to the gym, to classes, to conferences, to fellowship, and to the pub, but wondering if this flurry of activity isn't just forestalling the identification that going to help me put this whole deal into context.
I'm excited for Rwanda. This winter I will spend the majority of my time an hour or so outside of Kigali volunteering with an organization called Umuryango, which means "family" in Kinyarwanda. Umuryango reaches out to orphaned street boys through coursework, job training, and spiritual counseling. I'll be teaching english, guitar, hanging out with the boys, and helping to build a basketball court. Though I'm not tired of Oxford by any means, I miss travel--the freedom of the open road in an unexplored country, the sense of separation from all the distractions you left behind that comes when walking alone through new places, and the daily joy of discovery. This past summer was the first time since the end of my freshman year of college that I haven't crammed a pack full of anti-malarial tablets, some clothes, a water filter, U.S. consular information, a few other things, and headed south. I'm under no illusion that the people I'm going to work for need guys like me around for three-week stints of volunteerism: my goal is simply to learn about Rwanda from the Rwandans, and if possible to reciprocate their enormous generosity in hosting me by making myself as useful as possible.
So there's an update. Rowing is also going well--since my last post I've been bumped up to a better boat, and will likely be rowing stroke, the first position, in the Christ Church Regatta next weekend. Though I'm still debating whether or not I'll continue with this sport, I love the training, team camraderie, and early Thursday mornings on the Issis. In statistics I alternate between feeling triumphant and completely hosed, but lately it's been more of the latter. The good news is this puts in the same position as the majority of my peers! I'll be writing up my first assessed practical this weekend, so prayers that that goes smoothly would always be appreciated.
And as always, updates from abroad make my day. I'd love to hear how you're doing.
God bless,
Aaron
Sunday, November 2, 2008
out there
A not-so-random sample of some things going on in the world today. This blog is typically a place where I turn my thoughts inward, but recently I have been convicted by the sense that my time in academia's lofty towers is little more than self-gratification unless it has something to do in the end with all this.
May we stay aware, stay open, and above all, be thankful for daily simple blessings as we seek to live well and purposefully in a shattered and complicated world.
http://www.reuters.com/news/pictures (click on editor's choice)
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/02/world/asia/02pstan.html?_r=1&ref=world&oref=slogin
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7704628.stm
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/gallery/2008/10/30/GA2008103002477.html
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122539802263585317.html
http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSTRE49U0B820081102?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews
May we stay aware, stay open, and above all, be thankful for daily simple blessings as we seek to live well and purposefully in a shattered and complicated world.
http://www.reuters.com/news/pictures (click on editor's choice)
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/02/world/asia/02pstan.html?_r=1&ref=world&oref=slogin
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7704628.stm
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/gallery/2008/10/30/GA2008103002477.html
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122539802263585317.html
http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSTRE49U0B820081102?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
in case I managed to miss you on the email...
Dear friends and family,
I know I sent out an email several months ago saying that I'd be posting updates to my blog from here on out. Enough people have been asking me about life at Oxford, however, that I figured I'd send out another one of these. Yes, Chris O and Dan S, it is indeed another rambling Aaron epic. Put on your PJs and enjoy!
Life has been a flurry of activity since leaving the West Coast one month ago, and it doesn't seem like things will slow down anytime soon. When I moved to Stanford from the Pacific Northwest a couple years ago I couldn't have imagined an environment more animated by students' intellectual energy and entrepreneurial passion, yet Oxford goes one step beyond. A friend of mine made the point that Oxford is really a sort of mega-University, a great description of Oxford's 40 or so independently funded, loosely associated colleges, each with their own student associations, sports teams, and choirs. Then there are the University societies, which are cross-collegiate and number in the hundreds. There are also the offerings of the Rhodes House, the Statistics Department, and St Aldates Church (more on that to come). These interlinked spheres of activity exert an immediate pull upon Oxford's students, and the task of managing one's datebook can be as daunting as the process of whittling down one's commitments to semi-manageable levels. For now the activities I've settled on are: Rowing, French, Choir, and the Postgrads fellowship at St Aldates. When I add classes, pub dates and dinners, and speakers and seminars to the mix my weeks get pretty full, but the pace of life is manageable nonetheless. Most of you know that I don't row, have never taken french, and sing off-key, but the freedom to explore is where so much of the joy in being here lies: I don't want to miss a moment!
Oxford is absolutely beautiful. While you get a sense of this walking about the streets, past ancient churches or beneath ornamented spires, it's once you step into the courtyard of Christ Church, or climb to the top of Magdalene tower, or walk the grounds at Worcester (my college!), that Oxford really begins to move you. Finely manicured lawns, weathered stonework, immaculately tended gardens, old oaks and willows, archways and fountains, and walking paths are all arrayed with incredible balance and proportion. The other day my buddy Pravin and I concluded a workout by riding or bikes through the Christ Church Meadows, a park that takes you past through the grounds of several of the University's colleges, and we both felt like we were cycling through a chapter of a Jane Austin novel, with cows, green pastures, swans, a winding brook and the whole bit (at least I've been told this kind of pastoral beauty is Austin-like). I could go on for a while, but really the best thing is to see it for yourself. I wanted to upload some shots onto my picassa webs albums, but for whatever reason it's telling me tonight that my camera files aren't formatted correctly. Check back in a day or so if you'd like to see some Oxford shots--some of my Alaska pics are up out there as well.
Oxford is really, really old. Last week I spent some time in the Bodelian Library--another scenic attraction on campus--and found a reading room in which I was surrounded by musty old books predating the founding of the U.S. by a couple hundred years. I hope it's not generalizing too much to say that a long and storied tradition leads to a much stronger sense of tradition, not just here at the University, but throughout this entire ancient country. For exams and matriculation, for example, I wear an outfit known as "sub-fusc," a dark suit with a white bow tie and a ridiculous black robe. The Warden of the Rhodes house told us that there have been many votes in the past among the student body as to whether or not sub-fusc should be abolished. Each time the students have voted overwhelmingly to maintain the tradition, and then gone on grumbling about how silly the whole business is! There's also a rumor that once a student showed up to his exams bearing his family sword, and requested the free beer to which he was entitled per the archaic tome known as the Examinations Regulations Handbook--legend has it they struck the "free beer for family sword" clause following the incident.
I took my preterm statistics exam seriously, and had the satisfaction of doing all right in the end. Today I had my first meeting with my departmental supervisor, a very nice man and former Berkeley professor named Nicolai Steinshausen. After explaining to me how to prove that Y = X1 + X2, where Xi~N(0,1) is distributed N(0,2) (I wasn't sure how to do this either) he handed me back my exam and said "the rest was pretty much good." Yessss! It's nice to be off to a strong start, and to know that my time spent doing maths and Western and Stanford amounted to something. This week's theory problem set is giving me a run for my money, though, and I have no doubt that I have plenty of challenging course work to look forward to. My classmates are awesome as well: I think when we're all in lecture together we more or less represent a cross-section of the U.N. general assembly. Students from literally all over the world have come to study here, and as I get to know them better I benefit not only from their intellectual brilliance but from the diverse perspectives they bring from their varied life experiences.
*I speak a bit about faith-related topics here. I know I write to a crowd of diverse perspectives, and hope that all understand that I am merely attempting to share my life and experiences with honesty. My care and respect for each person to whom this letter is addressed is independent of whether or not they have arrived at the same conclusions spiritually as I have.*
Finally, I have found a vibrant community of faith here at Oxford. At the recommendation of a friend who studied a quarter abroad here I went to St Aldates Church my first Sunday, and have been attending their ever since. I wrote this a couple weeks ago: "In America we often say that the European church is dead, yet at St Aldates the Body of Christ is certainly alive and well. They pray, they worship God in spirit and in truth, and there is a tangible presence of joy throughout the sanctuary." As at Stanford, the Spirit is moving here at Oxford--it is such an exciting to time to be a student! Last night I attended a showing of a debate that took place last year between John Lennox and Richard Dawkins (both Oxford Professors) in the Town Hall with several Rhodes scholars. The showing was in advance of today's live debate between the two men, on the usual subject of whether or not science has buried God. I believe that this generation is in a unique place historically: it doesn't desire a return to a brain-dead religion of unquestioned assumptions, but neither can it easily abide in the hollow, materialistic, meaningless world of Richard Dawkins. I had to chuckle two Sundays past when, while giving a sermon at St Aldates, John Lennox said "Aslan is on the move" :) Pray for us, that we would be sensitive to the God's leading and aware of opportunities we have to engage the campus.
The summary is necessarily incomplete, but these are some of the highlights. A couple folks have asked me for contact info: you see find my UK phone number and address at the bottom of this email. Thanks for reading, and I always hope to hear what's new on your end!
Cheers,
Aaron
I know I sent out an email several months ago saying that I'd be posting updates to my blog from here on out. Enough people have been asking me about life at Oxford, however, that I figured I'd send out another one of these. Yes, Chris O and Dan S, it is indeed another rambling Aaron epic. Put on your PJs and enjoy!
Life has been a flurry of activity since leaving the West Coast one month ago, and it doesn't seem like things will slow down anytime soon. When I moved to Stanford from the Pacific Northwest a couple years ago I couldn't have imagined an environment more animated by students' intellectual energy and entrepreneurial passion, yet Oxford goes one step beyond. A friend of mine made the point that Oxford is really a sort of mega-University, a great description of Oxford's 40 or so independently funded, loosely associated colleges, each with their own student associations, sports teams, and choirs. Then there are the University societies, which are cross-collegiate and number in the hundreds. There are also the offerings of the Rhodes House, the Statistics Department, and St Aldates Church (more on that to come). These interlinked spheres of activity exert an immediate pull upon Oxford's students, and the task of managing one's datebook can be as daunting as the process of whittling down one's commitments to semi-manageable levels. For now the activities I've settled on are: Rowing, French, Choir, and the Postgrads fellowship at St Aldates. When I add classes, pub dates and dinners, and speakers and seminars to the mix my weeks get pretty full, but the pace of life is manageable nonetheless. Most of you know that I don't row, have never taken french, and sing off-key, but the freedom to explore is where so much of the joy in being here lies: I don't want to miss a moment!
Oxford is absolutely beautiful. While you get a sense of this walking about the streets, past ancient churches or beneath ornamented spires, it's once you step into the courtyard of Christ Church, or climb to the top of Magdalene tower, or walk the grounds at Worcester (my college!), that Oxford really begins to move you. Finely manicured lawns, weathered stonework, immaculately tended gardens, old oaks and willows, archways and fountains, and walking paths are all arrayed with incredible balance and proportion. The other day my buddy Pravin and I concluded a workout by riding or bikes through the Christ Church Meadows, a park that takes you past through the grounds of several of the University's colleges, and we both felt like we were cycling through a chapter of a Jane Austin novel, with cows, green pastures, swans, a winding brook and the whole bit (at least I've been told this kind of pastoral beauty is Austin-like). I could go on for a while, but really the best thing is to see it for yourself. I wanted to upload some shots onto my picassa webs albums, but for whatever reason it's telling me tonight that my camera files aren't formatted correctly. Check back in a day or so if you'd like to see some Oxford shots--some of my Alaska pics are up out there as well.
Oxford is really, really old. Last week I spent some time in the Bodelian Library--another scenic attraction on campus--and found a reading room in which I was surrounded by musty old books predating the founding of the U.S. by a couple hundred years. I hope it's not generalizing too much to say that a long and storied tradition leads to a much stronger sense of tradition, not just here at the University, but throughout this entire ancient country. For exams and matriculation, for example, I wear an outfit known as "sub-fusc," a dark suit with a white bow tie and a ridiculous black robe. The Warden of the Rhodes house told us that there have been many votes in the past among the student body as to whether or not sub-fusc should be abolished. Each time the students have voted overwhelmingly to maintain the tradition, and then gone on grumbling about how silly the whole business is! There's also a rumor that once a student showed up to his exams bearing his family sword, and requested the free beer to which he was entitled per the archaic tome known as the Examinations Regulations Handbook--legend has it they struck the "free beer for family sword" clause following the incident.
I took my preterm statistics exam seriously, and had the satisfaction of doing all right in the end. Today I had my first meeting with my departmental supervisor, a very nice man and former Berkeley professor named Nicolai Steinshausen. After explaining to me how to prove that Y = X1 + X2, where Xi~N(0,1) is distributed N(0,2) (I wasn't sure how to do this either) he handed me back my exam and said "the rest was pretty much good." Yessss! It's nice to be off to a strong start, and to know that my time spent doing maths and Western and Stanford amounted to something. This week's theory problem set is giving me a run for my money, though, and I have no doubt that I have plenty of challenging course work to look forward to. My classmates are awesome as well: I think when we're all in lecture together we more or less represent a cross-section of the U.N. general assembly. Students from literally all over the world have come to study here, and as I get to know them better I benefit not only from their intellectual brilliance but from the diverse perspectives they bring from their varied life experiences.
*I speak a bit about faith-related topics here. I know I write to a crowd of diverse perspectives, and hope that all understand that I am merely attempting to share my life and experiences with honesty. My care and respect for each person to whom this letter is addressed is independent of whether or not they have arrived at the same conclusions spiritually as I have.*
Finally, I have found a vibrant community of faith here at Oxford. At the recommendation of a friend who studied a quarter abroad here I went to St Aldates Church my first Sunday, and have been attending their ever since. I wrote this a couple weeks ago: "In America we often say that the European church is dead, yet at St Aldates the Body of Christ is certainly alive and well. They pray, they worship God in spirit and in truth, and there is a tangible presence of joy throughout the sanctuary." As at Stanford, the Spirit is moving here at Oxford--it is such an exciting to time to be a student! Last night I attended a showing of a debate that took place last year between John Lennox and Richard Dawkins (both Oxford Professors) in the Town Hall with several Rhodes scholars. The showing was in advance of today's live debate between the two men, on the usual subject of whether or not science has buried God. I believe that this generation is in a unique place historically: it doesn't desire a return to a brain-dead religion of unquestioned assumptions, but neither can it easily abide in the hollow, materialistic, meaningless world of Richard Dawkins. I had to chuckle two Sundays past when, while giving a sermon at St Aldates, John Lennox said "Aslan is on the move" :) Pray for us, that we would be sensitive to the God's leading and aware of opportunities we have to engage the campus.
The summary is necessarily incomplete, but these are some of the highlights. A couple folks have asked me for contact info: you see find my UK phone number and address at the bottom of this email. Thanks for reading, and I always hope to hear what's new on your end!
Cheers,
Aaron
Monday, October 13, 2008
day one
Today was the first day of the Michaelmas Term (pronounced "mikulmus"). It's also been one of those offbeat days I have now and again that makes me question whether or not I'm fit to function in the modern world. No need to belabor the point, yet an anecdote about this evening's dinner adventure more or less captures the general tone of the day:
To begin with, I missed cocktails at the Stats Department and the subsequent meeting with reps from UBS, an international investment bank, because I was preoccupied scheduling for the week and drafting a personal budget. Bummer. "That's OK," I thought, "at least I have a tasty second hall dinner to look forward to in a couple minutes." Then I flipped through the grad student handbook to double check the price of second hall and read that tickets to second hall must be purchased the morning of. Bummer again. "No worries," I said to myself, "after drafting this budget I'm realizing that eating in the hall every meal is going to break me financially. I'll go grocery shopping." Though pickings at Sainsbury's are pretty slim by 8.30pm, I picked up the ingredients I needed for spaghetti and meat sauce and headed home. After I got back I realized I'd purchased egg noodles, which, it turns out, taste nothing like real spaghetti. Yet I pressed on. After fighting with our erratic stove for 45 minutes to bring a third of a pot of water to boil I finally got the pasta cooked, and in the process of trying strain it dumped the whole batch in the kitchen sink. Sigh. I turned on the cold water, fished out the noodles by hand, and after a successful second attempt sat down to giant plate of soapy, overcooked egg noddles and fairly decent meat sauce. I distractedly offered up a half-hearted prayer of thanks for how well I eat, finished my meal, and came up here to write this post.
That's kind of how transitions go, I've noticed. Wherever you go, there you are. For all the build up, at the end of the day we're simply people trying to get along in the world. Moreover, our idiosyncrasies have a tendency of following us wherever we go. I may be a Rhodes scholar, studying a challenging subject at one of the world's most prestigious universities, yet disaster-fraught days like today make me marvel that I manage to stumble my way into opportunities like these. "You keep coming back, kid," Tim would say to me over the summer, "and in the end that's what matters." I may not be the sharpest stick in the box, but when it comes to getting things done I guess I function pretty well as a blunt instrument :-)
Typos and sour notes are inevitable in the process of crafting novels or composing symphonies, though, and as I prepare to turn in for the evening I'm reminded of how much there is to be thankful for here. After spending quite a bit of time on last weeks preterm exam I'm entering week one confident that my basic grasp of the mathematical theories and techniques necessary to succeed in my course are strong. Class went well today. I landed a spot in the Hertford Chapel Choir and am looking forward to developing my singing. Last weekend I walked down to the Worcester College boathouse along the banks of the Thames under a warm October sun: I'm eager to try rowing, and have heard that the end-of-term Christ Church Regatta is nothing short of an absolute blast. Relationships with my fellow scholars continue to deepen as well: last Friday night our friend Jason hosted a dinner at his place that included fine wine, cheese, homemade foccacia bread, and pasta. Finally, rather than confronting the challenge of a scarcity of fellowship I'm having to be discerning in choosing which of the many awesome Christian groups to associate with at Oxford.
So in the end all's well. Interestingly enough, however, I feel strangely disassociated from all this, even as I'm in the middle of it. After striving intensely through four years of undergrad it's as if I've come full circle, except this time I'm a "fresher," not a "freshman." I suppose some of the novelty has worn off by this point, which I think is a good thing. It leaves me more free to honestly question the purpose of my time hear and structure my life accordingly.
Love you all, thanks for staying tuned!
To begin with, I missed cocktails at the Stats Department and the subsequent meeting with reps from UBS, an international investment bank, because I was preoccupied scheduling for the week and drafting a personal budget. Bummer. "That's OK," I thought, "at least I have a tasty second hall dinner to look forward to in a couple minutes." Then I flipped through the grad student handbook to double check the price of second hall and read that tickets to second hall must be purchased the morning of. Bummer again. "No worries," I said to myself, "after drafting this budget I'm realizing that eating in the hall every meal is going to break me financially. I'll go grocery shopping." Though pickings at Sainsbury's are pretty slim by 8.30pm, I picked up the ingredients I needed for spaghetti and meat sauce and headed home. After I got back I realized I'd purchased egg noodles, which, it turns out, taste nothing like real spaghetti. Yet I pressed on. After fighting with our erratic stove for 45 minutes to bring a third of a pot of water to boil I finally got the pasta cooked, and in the process of trying strain it dumped the whole batch in the kitchen sink. Sigh. I turned on the cold water, fished out the noodles by hand, and after a successful second attempt sat down to giant plate of soapy, overcooked egg noddles and fairly decent meat sauce. I distractedly offered up a half-hearted prayer of thanks for how well I eat, finished my meal, and came up here to write this post.
That's kind of how transitions go, I've noticed. Wherever you go, there you are. For all the build up, at the end of the day we're simply people trying to get along in the world. Moreover, our idiosyncrasies have a tendency of following us wherever we go. I may be a Rhodes scholar, studying a challenging subject at one of the world's most prestigious universities, yet disaster-fraught days like today make me marvel that I manage to stumble my way into opportunities like these. "You keep coming back, kid," Tim would say to me over the summer, "and in the end that's what matters." I may not be the sharpest stick in the box, but when it comes to getting things done I guess I function pretty well as a blunt instrument :-)
Typos and sour notes are inevitable in the process of crafting novels or composing symphonies, though, and as I prepare to turn in for the evening I'm reminded of how much there is to be thankful for here. After spending quite a bit of time on last weeks preterm exam I'm entering week one confident that my basic grasp of the mathematical theories and techniques necessary to succeed in my course are strong. Class went well today. I landed a spot in the Hertford Chapel Choir and am looking forward to developing my singing. Last weekend I walked down to the Worcester College boathouse along the banks of the Thames under a warm October sun: I'm eager to try rowing, and have heard that the end-of-term Christ Church Regatta is nothing short of an absolute blast. Relationships with my fellow scholars continue to deepen as well: last Friday night our friend Jason hosted a dinner at his place that included fine wine, cheese, homemade foccacia bread, and pasta. Finally, rather than confronting the challenge of a scarcity of fellowship I'm having to be discerning in choosing which of the many awesome Christian groups to associate with at Oxford.
So in the end all's well. Interestingly enough, however, I feel strangely disassociated from all this, even as I'm in the middle of it. After striving intensely through four years of undergrad it's as if I've come full circle, except this time I'm a "fresher," not a "freshman." I suppose some of the novelty has worn off by this point, which I think is a good thing. It leaves me more free to honestly question the purpose of my time hear and structure my life accordingly.
Love you all, thanks for staying tuned!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Oxford, at last
Today I had a moment of realization: I'm dressed like a British student, weaving between double-decker buses on my (beautiful) used road bike, in the center of over 800 years of stunning intellectual and architectural achievement. Just like that, I've arrived in Oxford.
Since my last post it's been nothing but go go go, and my post-breakfast nap today was a harsh reminder that I'm still sleeping off the nine hours of jetlag that I've racked up since leaving San Francisco. I definitely have a new respect for international students after this week. Since arriving last Thursday I've had to negotiate paying rent with the housing office (they've been extremely accommodating), move in to my new place, buy winter wear and sub fusc attire (dark suit, gown, white shirt, white bow tie), figure out the most economical way of feeding myself (cooking, it turns out, though it hardly feels like I have the time!), set up a bank account, research a cell phone plan, find out when choir auditions and first rowing practices are, plan a trip to Rwanda this winter, register with my department, pick up my preterm exam, and connect with the other new grads in my MCR (graduate social hub of each college). No surprise it was only today as I pedaled my bicycle through the city center that I finally began to experience a sense of "settledness."
The pace of life is insane this week, and if there is one word of prayer that you throw up for me in the coming days please pray that I have the discretion and discipline to not schedule my time in such a way that things never calm down. There is SO much to be involved in. More, if you can believe it, than at Stanford. Here at Oxford, where graduate students belong to the social as well as academic mainstream, 2/3 of us hail from outside the UK, and the rest of Europe is just across the channel, the possibilities for staying occupied are truly endless. The trick is filling the space with the right things. I know that I want to try rowing, though I confess that my heart grows faint at the prospect of 6am practices! I'm also planning on auditioning for choir, though whether or not I get a spot if far from a sure thing. And then there's languages to learn, societies to join, socializing to do, and perhaps most importantly, community service opportunities to plug into.
How easy it would be at this juncture to turn inward and dedicate 100 percent of my time to self-improvement. Yet what vain way to spend one's time. Coming in as a close second to not over-scheduling myself, please pray that I would be blessed with the sense that this time is building towards something purposeful, even as I revel in the joy of being here.
The Lord has also been faithful to provide fellowship. Following the advice of a friend who studied here during her junior spring quarter, I headed over to St Aldates Church this past Sunday for service. What a vibrant community! In America we often say that the European church is dead, yet at St Aldates the Body of Christ is certainly alive and well. They pray, they worship God in spirit and in truth, and there is a tangible presence of joy throughout the sanctuary. I suppose I could check out some other places, but I think that this is where I'm landing. I sent out an email that day to the Rhodes 2008 list inviting my friends to come along, and three guys responded. One of them came with me and seemed to enjoy the service quite a bit. Another, who is also reading for the MSc in Applied Stats, was unable to come, but hopes to next week. The third was also unable to come, but wants to start reading C.S. Lewis and meeting in the Eagle and Child pub on Sundays for small group fellowship--kind of an "Inklings 2.0." I think it's likely that all of us will end up at St Aldates eventually...
God is good. Whether or not I am blessed or broken he is good, but what a joy to now receive such gifts!
I should turn in soon, but feel free to check out some much-delayed photos of the time I spent at home with the fam. I haven't been snapping too many shots since arriving at Oxford, since I don't yet trust myself to wander about with my camera without losing it. Give me a couple more weeks to "get sorted" and I'll post a virtual tour :)
Oh yeah, and Worcester College is not only one of the most beautiful collegs on campus, but also has some of the best Hall food, which is only marginally more expensive than if I cook on my own time. Yessss!
Abrazos,
Aaron
PS: Mom, "Z--" not withstanding, my housing situation is great. I'm located right next to the college in a six bedroom house with shared bathrooms and a kitchen area. My room is clean and spacious enough, and I have a great view of the garden out back. Best of all, I'm saving at least 150 pounds a month here, which will buy a lot of time abroad if you add it up over three months :)
Since my last post it's been nothing but go go go, and my post-breakfast nap today was a harsh reminder that I'm still sleeping off the nine hours of jetlag that I've racked up since leaving San Francisco. I definitely have a new respect for international students after this week. Since arriving last Thursday I've had to negotiate paying rent with the housing office (they've been extremely accommodating), move in to my new place, buy winter wear and sub fusc attire (dark suit, gown, white shirt, white bow tie), figure out the most economical way of feeding myself (cooking, it turns out, though it hardly feels like I have the time!), set up a bank account, research a cell phone plan, find out when choir auditions and first rowing practices are, plan a trip to Rwanda this winter, register with my department, pick up my preterm exam, and connect with the other new grads in my MCR (graduate social hub of each college). No surprise it was only today as I pedaled my bicycle through the city center that I finally began to experience a sense of "settledness."
The pace of life is insane this week, and if there is one word of prayer that you throw up for me in the coming days please pray that I have the discretion and discipline to not schedule my time in such a way that things never calm down. There is SO much to be involved in. More, if you can believe it, than at Stanford. Here at Oxford, where graduate students belong to the social as well as academic mainstream, 2/3 of us hail from outside the UK, and the rest of Europe is just across the channel, the possibilities for staying occupied are truly endless. The trick is filling the space with the right things. I know that I want to try rowing, though I confess that my heart grows faint at the prospect of 6am practices! I'm also planning on auditioning for choir, though whether or not I get a spot if far from a sure thing. And then there's languages to learn, societies to join, socializing to do, and perhaps most importantly, community service opportunities to plug into.
How easy it would be at this juncture to turn inward and dedicate 100 percent of my time to self-improvement. Yet what vain way to spend one's time. Coming in as a close second to not over-scheduling myself, please pray that I would be blessed with the sense that this time is building towards something purposeful, even as I revel in the joy of being here.
The Lord has also been faithful to provide fellowship. Following the advice of a friend who studied here during her junior spring quarter, I headed over to St Aldates Church this past Sunday for service. What a vibrant community! In America we often say that the European church is dead, yet at St Aldates the Body of Christ is certainly alive and well. They pray, they worship God in spirit and in truth, and there is a tangible presence of joy throughout the sanctuary. I suppose I could check out some other places, but I think that this is where I'm landing. I sent out an email that day to the Rhodes 2008 list inviting my friends to come along, and three guys responded. One of them came with me and seemed to enjoy the service quite a bit. Another, who is also reading for the MSc in Applied Stats, was unable to come, but hopes to next week. The third was also unable to come, but wants to start reading C.S. Lewis and meeting in the Eagle and Child pub on Sundays for small group fellowship--kind of an "Inklings 2.0." I think it's likely that all of us will end up at St Aldates eventually...
God is good. Whether or not I am blessed or broken he is good, but what a joy to now receive such gifts!
I should turn in soon, but feel free to check out some much-delayed photos of the time I spent at home with the fam. I haven't been snapping too many shots since arriving at Oxford, since I don't yet trust myself to wander about with my camera without losing it. Give me a couple more weeks to "get sorted" and I'll post a virtual tour :)
Oh yeah, and Worcester College is not only one of the most beautiful collegs on campus, but also has some of the best Hall food, which is only marginally more expensive than if I cook on my own time. Yessss!
Abrazos,
Aaron
PS: Mom, "Z--" not withstanding, my housing situation is great. I'm located right next to the college in a six bedroom house with shared bathrooms and a kitchen area. My room is clean and spacious enough, and I have a great view of the garden out back. Best of all, I'm saving at least 150 pounds a month here, which will buy a lot of time abroad if you add it up over three months :)
Monday, September 29, 2008
wrestling with ignorance
These past couple days have been a whirlwind of cocktail parties, meet and greets,and panel discussions. Though I'm wound up enough that I haven't been catching too many z's, my body is well-nourished by a steady diet of catered hors d'oeuvres and fine sparkling water, and I am enjoying the company of my fellow scholars immensely. Yesterday I picked up a tux from Men's Wearhouse and today my visa and passport arrived in the mail, completing my check list of last minute priorities. It looks as if I can expect my transition from the States to Oxford to be about as smooth as one could hope for.
My strongest impression so far is how being immersed in the company of so many bright minds, in Washington D.C. during the height of the presidential race, makes me painfully aware of the power of my own biases and preconceptions, as well as the enormous scope of everything I don't know.
This morning we met in the hotel lobby to trek across Dupont Circle to the Aspen Institute, a prestigious think tank that hosts world leaders and insightful thinkers of all backgrounds, as well as functions as a repository of Rhodes scholars. The panel that spoke to us this morning included an insider from the Hillary Clinton campaign who was not only deeply insightful with respect to the inner workings of the Democratic party, but strongly invested in Hillary as a public servant and women's advocate (anonymous due to the off-the-record nature of our conversation). Listening to her speak in a compelling way about sexism in the media and the party, about issues that matter to women beyond "choice," about Obama's failure to unite the party in the wake of the primaries, and about his perceived egocentricity and hostility towards the Clintons I was moved emotionally as my understanding of Obama was deeply challenged. (Since the point of this post isn't to endorse my particular political perspective I'll refrain from going into any detail, though you can certainly email me if you'd like more info about the panel and our conversation afterwards). As I left the air-conditioned halls of the office building and walked into the slightly smoggy, mildly muggy noon D.C. heat my head was buzzing with unformed ideas that struggled to be articulated, yet never moved beyond a vague feeling of unease. Was my response to Hillary influenced by sexism? Is my eagerness to embrace Obama as a black candidate merely a lazy means of assuring myself that I really am a progressive guy "beyond" the issue of race? Just how much of my perception of the candidates and the issues is shaped by media caricatures? What is the role of the media not only in stoking inter-partisan rancor, but in perpetuating class- and gender-based differences between people? Could I really change my mind about my candidate, or am I simply too committed to my own rightness? Perhaps too scared to confront a world of complexity that refuses to conform to my comfortable political and economic narratives...
Somewhere in the middle of all that I hear Tim saying "have you ever had an original idea, kid?" As I sort through the hodgepodge of factors that influence my thinking, my attempt to answer this question honestly becomes more and more revealing. What does it mean to be a truly original thinker, and how do I move myself towards this? I recognize that when you speak with someone they can only ever give you their point of view, which is sure to be contradicted at many points by anothers. The process of bringing together it all together to form a well-grounded view of how the world works is is truly daunting. Right now all the questions and the flurry of new information and experiences has me stumbling through a sort of perpetual haze.
Another lesson from Alaska: "just shut up and listen." Hopefully I'll emerge on the other side of Atlantic sooner or later as a somewhat wiser man.
In addition to healthy intellectual growing pain, there are many other things to celebrate about this new time of life. I'm having fun, and am feeling the dawn of a new sense of freedom as I realize that, even more than Stanford, my time at Oxford has the potential to be whatever it is in me to make it. It's gonna be good.
Tomorrow we're heading to the Congressional Breakfast, chatting with Chief Justice Souter, visiting The Mall, attending a reception at the British Embassy, and heading to a play at the Shakespeare Theatre in the evening. Even as I enjoy all this, I am reminded of when Jesus warns his followers to "Enter through the narrow door, because wide is the door and spacious is the road that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it." The lust to pursue wealth, power, and significance even now exerts a faint pull, yet only by shunning those false idols can a man truly live. Pray for me, that in all seasons, both of blessing and of trial, that I would hold with an open hand before God the gifts he has given me along with the desires of my spirit.
The beautiful contradiction is that only when we stop clinging to our self-centered quest for personal fulfillment do we become capable of recieving even greater blessing without having it corrupt us. This is where I want the Lord to move my heart.
Two days and counting till I'm in the UK!
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